Be Messy
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.   Brené Brown

A space to get comfortable getting uncomfortable and ask all the questions you’re “not supposed to ask” about the topics you’re “not supposed to talk about.” Here we focus on curated content-driven, action-oriented discussions about intersectional topics of race, religion, sex, class, and all the things that create misunderstanding, distrust, conflict, and roadblocks to the thriving community of humanity. This is the room to move beyond the “don’t speak” mentality, so we can form a better understanding of ourselves and each other and gain generative forward momentum, one step at a time, individually and collectively.

 

This room is a content driven, grace-filled courageous space to wrestle with difficult topics that often divide us and try to convince us that familiarity is safety and difference is to be feared. Think of all the things that you’re not supposed to talk about at work, church, or the dinner table with friends, coworkers, and family. 
This is the space to talk about all of them. 

But it’s more than that. It’s also for learning and building your confidence to create courageous spaces for important conversations wherever you go. It’s a room to practice embodying the power of curious, empathetic, difficult conversations, particularly with those topics we’ve learned are off limits.   

This room is here to provide a courageous space for us all to practice getting a bit more comfortable with being the good kind of uncomfortable––the kind that stretches us, makes us grow, makes us all better. It will provide the opportunity to develop tools to grow personally and begin creating courageous spaces for others to do the same wherever you are. 

We will also learn a variety of accessible, restorative, self-care practices as we do this work because Being Messy is stressful for all of us. If we don’t prioritize taking care of ourselves and each other on this journey, we won’t last long. The messy middle (aka the liminal space) is necessary to get to the other side of what’s possible. Learning effective tools for restoration and repair and prioritizing regular maintenance is what allows us to Be Messy and still keep moving forward to something better. 

As the girl who always wants to talk about “it,” I often wonder that if I can’t talk about whatever it is with friends, family, people at church or work who I’m supposed to be close to and trust, then who can I talk to about it? If it’s not people who know and love you, the choices of who will listen begin to get less healthy in my experience. If we can’t disagree with grace and listen to learn, we tend to either shut down or lash out. We begin to look for people who affirm the darkest parts of ourselves and/or we fear letting our light shine and begin hiding it. Neither of these are good options and both of them push the distance between neighbors further and further apart. 

This room was originally created under the name “Uncomfortable Club” shortly after George Floyd was killed. Realistically, I will probably never stop calling it that. I created it for a lot of reasons, but, at the end of the day, I created it because I needed it. I thought, or rather I hoped, other people might, too. I had no idea how much until I nervously hit “Post” on Facebook with my open invitation to join. Turns out quite a few people did, in fact, twice a month for almost two years from all over the country and even from abroad. I’m not sure if others still need it, but I know I definitely do. One of many things Uncomfortable Club affirmed for me was that Being Messy finds its strength in numbers. 

So, I’m hoping you’re like me and you need somewhere to not just talk about it, but practice your courage so you can take it with you and help others find and practice theirs. If so, this is the room for you.